Port to Pub: A Tale of Two Swims

Port to Pub is definitely a value for money swim – and not just for their cool merch. It’s twice the value of other swims… at least when it comes to the conditions. It’s also a value for money swim in terms of the amount I learned from it too.

(I’m not going to apologise for this blog post being late because I’ve realised that’s just how this process works. Each swim I think I’ll blog really quickly after but I think it takes me time to be able to process the swim, how I feel about it, and to have the motivation and inspiration to write about it. Writing it all down makes it seem as though how I feel or think about the swim is concrete but in reality, the processing is a very fluid, well… process.

I’m not going to apologise for how long this post is either. I KNOW it’s too long for a blog but I also know that I’m going to want to look back over this and remember every moment when I’m old(er) and grey(er). So this one is for me, and maybe for you too if you see a 25km Port to pub swim in your future 😉 )

Learning One: Trust my team.

Until the day of the safety briefing I was a little nervous about the team I’d put together. Or rather the team that my friend, English Channel swimmer Marc (Mr. 11:58 ;), had mostly put together for me. I hadn’t actually met ¾ of the legends who were about to become my team and even two weeks before the swim I didn’t have a kayaker. I’d had terrible news about my incredible friend Tim who had planned to be on the boat, and I was starting to get pretty nervous as they day crept closer.

Paul, who had acted as my Jet Ski support for Palm to Shelly and then my observer and support for Cold Camp last year, was coming with me as the primary observer and to organise my feeds though. Knowing I would have him by my side helped to settle my nerves and he made me feel less of a weirdo as I sat at the airport in Sydney pre-departure with tears streaming down my face! (Vladswimmer Dean Summers was finishing his record breaking swim from Newcastle to Sydney as we waited to board and I was in awe of his achievement and thrilled that he had been successful and was safe –it was a really emotional moment and I was glad to have someone to share it with.)

I met the rest of the crew, Skipper Steve and paddlers Louise and Gus at the safety briefing. I have no idea what they thought of me and my 12 page pdf of notes before we met but if they were worried about crewing for me they didn’t let it show. We had a little practice paddle, worked out where and how to launch the boat and kayak the next day and were happily on our way!

The morning of my swim was calm and conditions were absolutely beautiful. The water was warm enough to be really comfortable. The first part of the swim was along the bay, smooth and calm with the only danger being the stingers that the 25km Port to Pub is so famous for. (I was stung quite badly on my face and chest early in the swim but managed it well enough with Panadol and antihistamines.)

Paul was paddling for me, and even in this early stage, despite how good my swimming was feeling and how beautiful the morning was, I found myself feeling frustrated. I’d hoped to be able to stay with the pack but I couldn’t really see anyone around me. When I tried to sight, the people who I could see were to my right, much closer to the shore. I was starting to think about sharks and realised that I was out quite deep and on my own – not in the sort of big group that is likely to deter interest from large aquatic sea friends. I could see orange buoys to my left but I thought they were indicating the outer edge of the route – I couldn’t see the pink buoys that I thought were my actual maker.

Paul had been trying to move me out to the buoys but I couldn’t let go of the control I felt like I needed to have over the swim. I was worried that he was taking me out too wide, and I didn’t want to add any unnecessary time or distance to the swim. I told him – mid-breath – that I wanted to swim closer to the pack, that I didn’t want to be out so wide, and I could sense his frustration but I continued anyway.

Eventually, after I hadn’t taken notice of his signals that we needed to swim back out to the left if I was going to be able to make it around the buoy and not have a collision with swimmers coming in the other direction, he resorted to paddling to my right to force me to change direction. I couldn’t see him well because of the rising sun and started to ask him to move back to my left when he very sternly told me he had no choice because I wasn’t listening to him…

In that moment I realised that I’d made a big mistake. During the lead up to the swim, I’d spent a lot of time steering my team in how to look after me during the swim. I’d been the only person with all of the information and a 100% invested interest in getting it right so I’d tried to control, predict and counter every possible thing that could go wrong.

Once I hit the water though, my only job was to swim and I needed to let go of everything else. After being in a highly organised state in the lead up to the swim, it took me upsetting Paul and putting myself off course before I realised it was time to let go and to have faith in the people around me. A good lesson for life too, no? And definitely an important lesson to learn before the English Channel!

Learning Two: Feeds

Around 5 hours into the swim the conditions started to change. The dreaded Dr. (the southerly wind that cools Perth down in the afternoon) was due to arrive at 2pm but came up at midday with a much stronger force than had been anticipated. (Anticipated by me anyway!) I went from feeling great in the water to throwing up and feeling a little seasick.

Once I’d been sick, I didn’t want to take the Tailwind feeds that I’ve raved about for months now. I suddenly learned the danger of relying on one type of feed. (I’d previously included bananas and Ribena as an extra super feed but Skipper Steve, as is common with many captains of boats, didn’t allow bananas on board.) I ended up finishing the last three hours of the swim relying on swigs of flat coke – not a situation that I want to find myself in again.

Arriving back to Sydney I booked in an appointment with Samantha Lewis, sports nutritionist to many people in my squad and I’m looking forward to testing out the new feeding schedule during the EC Qualifier in Melbourne. I’ll still rely primarily on Tailwind because it’s so fast to drink and has everything I need, but she’s thrown in some actual food and different drinks to test out too so that if I find myself in that position again, I’ll be ok!

Learning Three: The Value of Brain Bumps and Company

I’ve heard often that these long distance swims can be lonely solo events but your support crew and the whatsapp group can be your absolute live savers!

At the same time as the conditions started to change, I started to feel a little negative about the swim. I’ve talked about it in the past as the moment that the dementors weasel their way into my thoughts. For me, it can become cyclic nd if I don’t catch it quickly enough I get pulled into a negative energy vortec. I start worrying that I’m not feeling so good, that the conditions are hard, that I’m starting to hurt, why do I even enjoy putting myself through this, do I enjoy it, how will I complete the EC if I’m getting tired today already… definitely not a helpful headspace for success and enjoyment. I’ve learned that the most important thing I can do is notice that it’s started. Once I’ve noticed I can generally find a way to change my thought process.

One of the tricks I use is to sing songs. Another is to play alphabet games with myself. A simple process of thinking of a food (for example) with each letter of the alphabet. The last time I did this I didn’t have a WhatsApp group so I had to wait til the end of the swim to find the answer to the letter that had been vexing me. This time though, at my next feed, I asked Paul to send a message out to the chat group asking for help. The answer came and made me smile, but then Eva sent out the call for me to tell her the three Taylor Swift songs I’d sing if I was on Australian Idol. Let’s ignore the fact that people would pay me NOT to sing in public, this was a genius idea that took up at least the next 30 minutes of my swim.

The interactions and the change of direction in my brain also bought to life all of the research I’ve read and listened to in podcasts that suggests that laughter and joy can negative the impact of pain. I was amused by Eva’s request, thrilled that she was on the chat and cared about my swim and that she knew me well enough (ie had heard me banging on about the Taylor Swift concert for weeks) to know what would amuse me at the time. Paul also let me know each time a donation came through to my fundraising page so that was another fabulous boost! (Huge thanks to the people who helped out along the way – you know who you are xx)

For the channel I’ll have a series of lines from songs that I’ll ask the crew to pop up on a whiteboard to help keep me engaged and motivated but I’m also looking forward to hearing what people have to say on the group chat. (No pressure now 😉 )

Learning Four: Breaking through pain

The last three hours of my Port to Pub swim was pretty painful. I was having pain in my left triceps, similar to the pain I felt during my pledge for Planet 48kms in 48 hours swim, but the intensity was at a much higher level. Instead of just stopping quickly for my feeds I found myself procrastinating and stopping in-between feeds as well.

Conditions were tough and tension was high on the boat as my support crew tried to navigate my through the course. (I was being pushed North by the wind and the current, and was close to being pushed out into the safety boat corridor – which would mean an immediately disqualification and being pulled out of the water.) Stopping was going to be detrimental to making progress, so the team encouraged me to keep going. With an hour to go (I didn’t know that at the time) the pain in my arm was the worst I had ever experienced and the pressure was building up through my shoulders by this stage as well.

Gone was any hope I had of finishing with energy and feeling fabulous as a boost for my channel prep. At this stage I just wasn’t sure if I could even make it to the beach. I could see the sands of the island but I was dreaming of getting onto that boat. In my mind I debated telling the crew I was getting out. I put it off, ‘one more stroke’ as my mantra over and over again. I realised that being pulled out of the boat by my arms was going to lead to a whole new world of pain – a physical pain that would rival the damage that would be done to my psyche if I didn’t finish. I altered my stroke, swam some one arm drill and then realised that if I was going to finish the thing I just had to push through it.

The weirdest part about it all was that once the boat left me – it wasn’t allowed to come the final km into the beach – and I knew that the swim was truly coming to an end, I realised that this was my last moment to push hard. (My plan with Vlad had been to cruise for most of the swim but to try to push hard for the final 5km.) I’d failed for the last 4 of 5 kms to be able to enact this, but with 1km to go, I suddenly felt the surge to finish strong. Pain was secondary as my brain took over, imagining ringing the bell to signal that I’d finished the Port to Pub swim – and achieved a milestone that I’d been dreaming of for nearly 18 months. I don’t remember feeling any pain for that final swim into the beach – and trust me from the lack of mobility and the level of pain I had at the end, it hadn’t magically disappeared. But somehow, something else took over that got me to the end. I’m going to hold on to that ‘something’ and trust that it’s going to see me through again when I need it most in the Channel.

Learning Five: Celebrate the wins

I went into the Port to Pub swim feeling incredible about my swimming. The weather the day before was flawless and when I swam with my friends Nicole and Sharon for a final taper swim I felt the best I think I’ve ever felt in the water.

I really nailed the taper this time, and I think my nutrition in the lead up was pretty on point too. It also helped that there weren’t any stingers in the taper swim too (after weeks of blue bottles in Sydney) so my confidence was at an all-time swim high.

This learning though, had to come in two parts. The first as I was sitting on the ferry, traveling back to Perth a few days after the swim, and the 2^nd when I sat down to talk to my coach Vlad about how it had all gone.

Up until that ferry ride, I’d been pretty disappointed with the swim overall. Sure, I’d loved ringing the bell at the end but I’d wanted to finish feeling fresh enough to know that I could swim twice as far to cross the English Channel. I didn’t have the euphoric feeling that I felt when I finished Palm to Shelly – I just felt disorientated, sore and fatigued. I was looking at the swim as a training swim – counting all the things that I needed to improve before I could swim the channel.

I was also feeling pretty tired and sore. I was definitely a sorry sight! My bottom lip had swollen from a combination of the stingers and sunburn, my face was burnt in a weird swimming cap design, my right wrist was swollen and sore, and my arm/tricep area still really hurt. I was in paradise and had plans for cycling and snorkelling the days away, but instead I was mostly resting, worrying about all the ways I’d let myself down and consoling myself with ice cream.

On that ferry though, it was wild! We were crashing over waves, there was no sign of land in any direction, a shipping container sailed past in the distance and we were all hanging on for dear life. But I had the most enormous smile on my face. I had SWAM this! It was in that moment that someone noticed the event number burned into my arm, (no, literally burned into my arm!) and they asked: “Did you swim to the island?”

“Yes”

“In a solo or team?”

“A solo.”

“Wow!”

She turned to her friend and said “This girl SWAM to the island!”

“How far is it”

And I answer simultaneously with the first lady “25km.”

There were about 15 people sitting at the back of that ferry with me, and every one of them was looking at me in some sort of awe – mostly thinking I must be crazy. For just a moment in time I agreed with them and allowed a feeling of accomplishment and pride sink in a little.

The 2^nd realisation I had was when I returned to squad. Vlad greeted me with his characteristic joy! “Ah Kim.. congratulations!” But I couldn’t really meet his eyes. Firstly I was still in a lot of pain and I knew it was unlikely that I’d be able to train that day. And secondly, I felt as though I’d probably disappointed him. I’d finished the swim but I hadn’t been able to ‘finish strong’ and the time I’d done was about an hour and 20 minutes slower than the 20 min per km pace that I’d hoped to be able to keep for the swim. When he saw my disappointment though, Vlad immediately stopped me and told me all the reasons why this swim isn’t comparable to any other swim I’ve done and the importance of celebrating it as an achievement. On its own Port to Pub is a monumental swimming achievement. It’s the 2^nd of my Australian Triple Crown swims and, all things considered my time was actually really good. I’d been in pain, but I’d been mentally tough enough to swim through it. I swam for 9 hours and 27 minutes! Sheesh. I guess that is pretty cool.

Holding on to that moment of pride is important in so many ways. I’ve learned a lot from this swim, and it wasn’t the perfect execution, but if I don’t stop to celebrate the wins, my brain will decide that it’s not worth trying ever, because nothing I do is ever good enough for myself. Vlad’s much needed pep talk reminded me of the Tony Robbins workshop I attended online during Covid. Tony had said that celebrating every little win teaches our brain to celebrate our life and to live in a state of joy. It was a meaningful learning back then but somewhere along the way it was a lesson I’d forgotten and needed reminding of.

I’m super grateful for the generous support of my team. To Marc who helped me pull a last minute crew together. To Paul who battled all the odds to even get to Perth, managed my moods when he would have been within his rights to have a classic Usher dummy spit, and then survived it all despite needing a knee replacement. To Skipper Steve who kept me swimming in the best line possible on the day and who painted the kayak paddles red so they were easy to see from the water and the boat. To Lou who hadn’t really kayaked before and spent more time that she had ever wanted to beside me battling the current and the wind right to the end! To Gus who managed his hangover pretty well and gave the kayaking a good shot too hahaha! I couldn’t have asked for a better crew on the day! Also hugely grateful to Vladswim’s Nic who ferried me around and helped soothe any pre-swim shark and stinger induced nerves. It was also great to spend some time with Maroubra Coobra Wendy who has relocated to W.A and popped over the island to say hi! Oh, great to bump into Val, the legend of Great Keppel and Derwent River swims too!