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The whiteboard…
TLDR: After swimming for 8 hours and 10 minutes in 14-15 degree water, I have qualified to swim the English Channel! Wooohooo!
Spoiler Alert 🙂 There are a couple of moments along the way to the channel that I consider to be exciting key milestones. Moving from the salty and stunningly beautiful ABC pool back to fresh water and palm trees at Victoria Park is one – (and that happened this morning!). Vlad’s Cold Camp is obviously a highlight. Training swims in cold dark rainy conditions are another, as is moving to Brighton le Sands (or the dreaded Balmoral) for Saturday swims.
Another is the Melbourne whiteboard!
For two years now I’ve watched as my swimming friends, English Channel hopefuls, have flown down to Melbourne to complete an English Channel Qualifying swim. Each year, the image of a whiteboard was shared on social media. The whiteboard listed everyone’s names as well as the time they came in for each feed and how long they stayed in the water for. (Qualifying for the channel is 6 hours if the water is under 16 degrees and progressively longer if the water is warmer than 16 degrees.)
The white board is partly for safety – if someone doesn’t check in near to their expected time there are kayakers and a boat that can head out to check on their safety, but it is also for accountability – to prove that the individual swam for the required amount of time in the required temperature to qualify to swim the channel.
For two years I’ve watched and studied the whiteboard to see how long people swim for in-between feeds, how many people swam to and past the qualifying time and who’d need to try again another time. It’s been one of the images that I knew would mean a lot to me, and how excited I would be if my name had that 8 hour time next to it at the end!
I also knew that qualifying in Melbourne would be the biggest challenge I’d face in my channel journey. In past years the weather has been dull and rainy and sometimes with a horrid wind that meant the swimming was tough going. Even harder for us Sydney siders is the change from swimming in 21 degree water down to 14-15 degrees in the blink of an eye. Add to that a much colder air temperature and I wasn’t entirely sure how much use all of my cold baths and cold showers were going to prove to be! Not everyone gets through this qualifier and I’ve seen brilliant accomplished swimmers not make it at this event – but still have a spectacular channel swim. It’s not the be all and end all – but it felt important to me. I was excited to test myself under these conditions.
I was also coming back from an injured lat/tricep strain and I hadn’t swam more than 3.5 hours since Port to Pub. In the weeks leading up to the qualifier I was holding space for the confidence that I would be able to swim the required 8 hours while simultaneously convincing myself that it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if I didn’t. (I would have another chance at Vlad’s Cold Camp in June after all.) But I also knew that the image of that white board would haunt me if I flew back home to Sydney having not met the goal.
Vlad and Jai had assured me that all I had to do was swim hard enough not to get hypothermia. I didn’t need to break any records; it isn’t a race and there wasn’t even a specific distance I needed to swim. They both believed I could do it – Vlad was even uncharacteristically annoyed at me for doubting it. (I’m still learning some great lessons.)
Thursday morning I joined the Odins, a cold water swimming group at Mt Martha who I swam with the last time I was in Melbourne for work. The temp was 15.5 and after having a little ice cream headache at the start I warmed up pretty quickly. It was only a 30 minute swim though, so although it gave me a little confidence I still wasn’t sure how my body would respond to much longer in the cold water.
Friday night was the twilight pre-qualifying swim with the crew and the atmosphere was nervously electric! We had three Vlad swimmers down for the qualifying swim (Nick, Al and myself) and Marc had come down to shower us with moral support and to help with our feeds.
My fabulous colleague Ian was also there to support Allan and I, and Adam (Marc’s friend and also an ocean swimmer) came along to support the supporters. It was also great to see some other familiar faces (and voices) from other swims including Sharon from Port to Pub, Julie (from everywhere!), Mon from Palm to Shelly and last years’ cold camp, and the gorgeous Queensland crew, the GCOWS, who I swim with from time to time and who are supporting Gerard.
Everyone was in great spirits, so much so that Marc and I had a little splashing fight (Marc started it!) as we entered the water. (I turned to make sure that Allen wasn’t feeling excluded and he sternly warned me NOT to splash him. Hahahaha! I am so happy that Ian captured both moments on camera.)
We swam the course for the first time at a leisurely pace, cheering and whooping to stay warm and happy as we meandered around the course, letting our bodies adjust to the temperature. It was an enormous luxury to be able to get out of the water and straight into a warm change room afterwards. Most people opted to take advantage of the steam room (!) but I hated it! Less than a minute in I was feeling breathless and claustrophobic and had to get myself out of there. I did enjoy the luxury of a warm shower though! The highlight of the night (other than carb loading with everyone at dinner of course hahaha) was spying the whiteboard from last year still written up!
The atmosphere on Saturday morning was a little quieter! Swimmers were being covered in channel grease as the briefing took place.
My Blue Dragon Budgy Smugglers! 
Marc on greasing duty. 
We use channel grease to try to avoid chaffing like this! Numbers were written on arms. The water temp was tested (and swimmers very cagily weren’t told the exact temp which helped me understand that this was going to be the coldest water I’d swum in this year for sure!)
Despite this, the air temp was manageable. There was very little wind and we had hopes for the sun to appear later in the day. (It did!) The temp hovered between 14-15 for the first couple of hours and then stayed colder in the shallows, but increased to between 15-15.5 elsewhere for the rest of the swim. We had good, mostly flat and windless conditions with just a little swimming against the incoming tide.
I kept up a cruisey pace for the full 8 hours and finished feeling really good. I took some Panadol and Nurofen 4 hours in because I was starting to have a little pain in my left arm again and my right shoulder was also a little niggly, but the pain relief and some extra rotation made it all settle within an hour. No problems at all when I finished.
My nutrition was really great too. Ian and Marc kept Al and I well fed and in high spirits, throwing the bottles from a pier that housed weedy sea dragons underneath!
Qualifier! 
I loved those warm feeds. I tried a few new things that mostly worked (like reducing the amount of liquid by 50mls in every 2nd feed, adding in some warm feeds, reducing the number of caffeine feeds, taking out Voltaren completely, and adding in some actual food.) It all worked really well except I needed to bring in the caffeine a little earlier – it was due at the 6 hour point but I was looking for it by 4 hours in. The highlights were warm lemon tailwind with a teaspoon of honey and warm water, and hot milo with coffee. For the first long swim, I wasn’t sick at all!
6 hours seemed to come around really quickly! The water temp was cold enough that 6 hours was all we needed to qualify but I don’t have many long swims left in my program between now and the channel so I didn’t even consider getting out early – not even when Julie offered me a sip from her bottle of vodka!
Gorgeous little weedy sea dragons kept us company at the pier. Marc joined me for the last 90 minutes of the swim and it was great to have company in the water. (Other than at feeds I didn’t really see anyone else during the swims – I didn’t bump into Nick or Al at all even though I was keeping an eye out for them both!) We swam a lap around the sunken shipwreck and took some time to explore it! I knew by then that I’d easily make the 8 hours and that I didn’t have to worry about swimming quickly to stay warm. It was nice to have a little chat and a play and not to have to take it all quite so seriously.
I found myself a little speechless at the end. Walking up the boat ramp knowing that I’d officially qualified for the English Channel swim was both a huge relief and a joy! The joy also came from the wonderful swimmers and organising team who’d stuck around til the end, cheering me along as I exited the water as well as the giant hug from Marc. (There usually isn’t anyone to hug at the end of swim because no-one wants to get wet and greasy hahaha!) And we all know how much I love a hug on any occasion, yet alone an *actual* ‘I-just-qualified-to-swim-the-English-Channel occasion.
Then seeing my own name on the whiteboard and receiving the certificate to upload for the Channel Swimming Association… delicious!
The final celebration happened at a pub nearby. They didn’t sell mulled wine and the steak that I’d been dreaming of all 8 hours of the swim was unaffordable ($65!!) but the company was exceptional!
As always a swim like this is absolutely a team effort. The advice and tips from swimmers who have been there before us is invaluable. The coaching of Vlad and Jai, and Vlad’s program is 2nd to none, and is 100% the reason why I was able to qualify at this event. The hours of physio (thanks to the team at Switch Maroubra) repaired the broken parts of my body to see me not just through the swim but to be able to keep training this week! The organisation of an event like this must be huge and everything ran seamlessly thanks to Sally, Denise and their organising and safety teams. Ian and Sharon cared for me at my home away from home – I’ll never look at a zucchini the same way again! Hello zucchini cake! Ian very generously donated his time to look after all of my transport and feeds. Marc was there when he didn’t have to be, swimming in the cold with his customary positivity and his own very special brand of brotherly support – hard love in equal measure of hard and love! Having someone with me who had been there and done it all before was more of a comfort that I could have imagined.
Sunday included a Barefoot Bowls fundraising event for Blue Dragon that raised around $1,200 – enough to rescue a victim of human trafficking – more about that later! And coming home to my beautiful flatmates and a celebratory dinner of steak and mash with some gorgeous Coobras last night? What more could a girl ask for?
Last night I set my alarm for squad this morning feeling like a very happy and satisfied swimmer – excited about what the next 12 weeks will bring.
The count down is well and truly on.
Qualifying milestone achieved!
Bucket list whiteboard moment achieved.
I’m officially registered and I’m going to swim the English Channel!!!!!
Next stop… Cold Camp!!!!
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Port to Pub: A Tale of Two Swims
Port to Pub is definitely a value for money swim – and not just for their cool merch. It’s twice the value of other swims… at least when it comes to the conditions. It’s also a value for money swim in terms of the amount I learned from it too.
(I’m not going to apologise for this blog post being late because I’ve realised that’s just how this process works. Each swim I think I’ll blog really quickly after but I think it takes me time to be able to process the swim, how I feel about it, and to have the motivation and inspiration to write about it. Writing it all down makes it seem as though how I feel or think about the swim is concrete but in reality, the processing is a very fluid, well… process.
I’m not going to apologise for how long this post is either. I KNOW it’s too long for a blog but I also know that I’m going to want to look back over this and remember every moment when I’m old(er) and grey(er). So this one is for me, and maybe for you too if you see a 25km Port to pub swim in your future 😉 )
Learning One: Trust my team.
Until the day of the safety briefing I was a little nervous about the team I’d put together. Or rather the team that my friend, English Channel swimmer Marc (Mr. 11:58 ;), had mostly put together for me. I hadn’t actually met ¾ of the legends who were about to become my team and even two weeks before the swim I didn’t have a kayaker. I’d had terrible news about my incredible friend Tim who had planned to be on the boat, and I was starting to get pretty nervous as they day crept closer.
Paul, who had acted as my Jet Ski support for Palm to Shelly and then my observer and support for Cold Camp last year, was coming with me as the primary observer and to organise my feeds though. Knowing I would have him by my side helped to settle my nerves and he made me feel less of a weirdo as I sat at the airport in Sydney pre-departure with tears streaming down my face! (Vladswimmer Dean Summers was finishing his record breaking swim from Newcastle to Sydney as we waited to board and I was in awe of his achievement and thrilled that he had been successful and was safe –it was a really emotional moment and I was glad to have someone to share it with.)
I met the rest of the crew, Skipper Steve and paddlers Louise and Gus at the safety briefing. I have no idea what they thought of me and my 12 page pdf of notes before we met but if they were worried about crewing for me they didn’t let it show. We had a little practice paddle, worked out where and how to launch the boat and kayak the next day and were happily on our way!
The morning of my swim was calm and conditions were absolutely beautiful. The water was warm enough to be really comfortable. The first part of the swim was along the bay, smooth and calm with the only danger being the stingers that the 25km Port to Pub is so famous for. (I was stung quite badly on my face and chest early in the swim but managed it well enough with Panadol and antihistamines.)
Paul was paddling for me, and even in this early stage, despite how good my swimming was feeling and how beautiful the morning was, I found myself feeling frustrated. I’d hoped to be able to stay with the pack but I couldn’t really see anyone around me. When I tried to sight, the people who I could see were to my right, much closer to the shore. I was starting to think about sharks and realised that I was out quite deep and on my own – not in the sort of big group that is likely to deter interest from large aquatic sea friends. I could see orange buoys to my left but I thought they were indicating the outer edge of the route – I couldn’t see the pink buoys that I thought were my actual maker.
Paul had been trying to move me out to the buoys but I couldn’t let go of the control I felt like I needed to have over the swim. I was worried that he was taking me out too wide, and I didn’t want to add any unnecessary time or distance to the swim. I told him – mid-breath – that I wanted to swim closer to the pack, that I didn’t want to be out so wide, and I could sense his frustration but I continued anyway.
Eventually, after I hadn’t taken notice of his signals that we needed to swim back out to the left if I was going to be able to make it around the buoy and not have a collision with swimmers coming in the other direction, he resorted to paddling to my right to force me to change direction. I couldn’t see him well because of the rising sun and started to ask him to move back to my left when he very sternly told me he had no choice because I wasn’t listening to him…
In that moment I realised that I’d made a big mistake. During the lead up to the swim, I’d spent a lot of time steering my team in how to look after me during the swim. I’d been the only person with all of the information and a 100% invested interest in getting it right so I’d tried to control, predict and counter every possible thing that could go wrong.
Once I hit the water though, my only job was to swim and I needed to let go of everything else. After being in a highly organised state in the lead up to the swim, it took me upsetting Paul and putting myself off course before I realised it was time to let go and to have faith in the people around me. A good lesson for life too, no? And definitely an important lesson to learn before the English Channel!
Learning Two: Feeds
Around 5 hours into the swim the conditions started to change. The dreaded Dr. (the southerly wind that cools Perth down in the afternoon) was due to arrive at 2pm but came up at midday with a much stronger force than had been anticipated. (Anticipated by me anyway!) I went from feeling great in the water to throwing up and feeling a little seasick.
Once I’d been sick, I didn’t want to take the Tailwind feeds that I’ve raved about for months now. I suddenly learned the danger of relying on one type of feed. (I’d previously included bananas and Ribena as an extra super feed but Skipper Steve, as is common with many captains of boats, didn’t allow bananas on board.) I ended up finishing the last three hours of the swim relying on swigs of flat coke – not a situation that I want to find myself in again.
Arriving back to Sydney I booked in an appointment with Samantha Lewis, sports nutritionist to many people in my squad and I’m looking forward to testing out the new feeding schedule during the EC Qualifier in Melbourne. I’ll still rely primarily on Tailwind because it’s so fast to drink and has everything I need, but she’s thrown in some actual food and different drinks to test out too so that if I find myself in that position again, I’ll be ok!
Learning Three: The Value of Brain Bumps and Company
I’ve heard often that these long distance swims can be lonely solo events but your support crew and the whatsapp group can be your absolute live savers!
At the same time as the conditions started to change, I started to feel a little negative about the swim. I’ve talked about it in the past as the moment that the dementors weasel their way into my thoughts. For me, it can become cyclic nd if I don’t catch it quickly enough I get pulled into a negative energy vortec. I start worrying that I’m not feeling so good, that the conditions are hard, that I’m starting to hurt, why do I even enjoy putting myself through this, do I enjoy it, how will I complete the EC if I’m getting tired today already… definitely not a helpful headspace for success and enjoyment. I’ve learned that the most important thing I can do is notice that it’s started. Once I’ve noticed I can generally find a way to change my thought process.
One of the tricks I use is to sing songs. Another is to play alphabet games with myself. A simple process of thinking of a food (for example) with each letter of the alphabet. The last time I did this I didn’t have a WhatsApp group so I had to wait til the end of the swim to find the answer to the letter that had been vexing me. This time though, at my next feed, I asked Paul to send a message out to the chat group asking for help. The answer came and made me smile, but then Eva sent out the call for me to tell her the three Taylor Swift songs I’d sing if I was on Australian Idol. Let’s ignore the fact that people would pay me NOT to sing in public, this was a genius idea that took up at least the next 30 minutes of my swim.
The interactions and the change of direction in my brain also bought to life all of the research I’ve read and listened to in podcasts that suggests that laughter and joy can negative the impact of pain. I was amused by Eva’s request, thrilled that she was on the chat and cared about my swim and that she knew me well enough (ie had heard me banging on about the Taylor Swift concert for weeks) to know what would amuse me at the time. Paul also let me know each time a donation came through to my fundraising page so that was another fabulous boost! (Huge thanks to the people who helped out along the way – you know who you are xx)
For the channel I’ll have a series of lines from songs that I’ll ask the crew to pop up on a whiteboard to help keep me engaged and motivated but I’m also looking forward to hearing what people have to say on the group chat. (No pressure now 😉 )
Learning Four: Breaking through pain
The last three hours of my Port to Pub swim was pretty painful. I was having pain in my left triceps, similar to the pain I felt during my pledge for Planet 48kms in 48 hours swim, but the intensity was at a much higher level. Instead of just stopping quickly for my feeds I found myself procrastinating and stopping in-between feeds as well.
Conditions were tough and tension was high on the boat as my support crew tried to navigate my through the course. (I was being pushed North by the wind and the current, and was close to being pushed out into the safety boat corridor – which would mean an immediately disqualification and being pulled out of the water.) Stopping was going to be detrimental to making progress, so the team encouraged me to keep going. With an hour to go (I didn’t know that at the time) the pain in my arm was the worst I had ever experienced and the pressure was building up through my shoulders by this stage as well.
Gone was any hope I had of finishing with energy and feeling fabulous as a boost for my channel prep. At this stage I just wasn’t sure if I could even make it to the beach. I could see the sands of the island but I was dreaming of getting onto that boat. In my mind I debated telling the crew I was getting out. I put it off, ‘one more stroke’ as my mantra over and over again. I realised that being pulled out of the boat by my arms was going to lead to a whole new world of pain – a physical pain that would rival the damage that would be done to my psyche if I didn’t finish. I altered my stroke, swam some one arm drill and then realised that if I was going to finish the thing I just had to push through it.
The weirdest part about it all was that once the boat left me – it wasn’t allowed to come the final km into the beach – and I knew that the swim was truly coming to an end, I realised that this was my last moment to push hard. (My plan with Vlad had been to cruise for most of the swim but to try to push hard for the final 5km.) I’d failed for the last 4 of 5 kms to be able to enact this, but with 1km to go, I suddenly felt the surge to finish strong. Pain was secondary as my brain took over, imagining ringing the bell to signal that I’d finished the Port to Pub swim – and achieved a milestone that I’d been dreaming of for nearly 18 months. I don’t remember feeling any pain for that final swim into the beach – and trust me from the lack of mobility and the level of pain I had at the end, it hadn’t magically disappeared. But somehow, something else took over that got me to the end. I’m going to hold on to that ‘something’ and trust that it’s going to see me through again when I need it most in the Channel.
Learning Five: Celebrate the wins
I went into the Port to Pub swim feeling incredible about my swimming. The weather the day before was flawless and when I swam with my friends Nicole and Sharon for a final taper swim I felt the best I think I’ve ever felt in the water.
I really nailed the taper this time, and I think my nutrition in the lead up was pretty on point too. It also helped that there weren’t any stingers in the taper swim too (after weeks of blue bottles in Sydney) so my confidence was at an all-time swim high.
This learning though, had to come in two parts. The first as I was sitting on the ferry, traveling back to Perth a few days after the swim, and the 2nd when I sat down to talk to my coach Vlad about how it had all gone.
Up until that ferry ride, I’d been pretty disappointed with the swim overall. Sure, I’d loved ringing the bell at the end but I’d wanted to finish feeling fresh enough to know that I could swim twice as far to cross the English Channel. I didn’t have the euphoric feeling that I felt when I finished Palm to Shelly – I just felt disorientated, sore and fatigued. I was looking at the swim as a training swim – counting all the things that I needed to improve before I could swim the channel.
I was also feeling pretty tired and sore. I was definitely a sorry sight! My bottom lip had swollen from a combination of the stingers and sunburn, my face was burnt in a weird swimming cap design, my right wrist was swollen and sore, and my arm/tricep area still really hurt. I was in paradise and had plans for cycling and snorkelling the days away, but instead I was mostly resting, worrying about all the ways I’d let myself down and consoling myself with ice cream.
On that ferry though, it was wild! We were crashing over waves, there was no sign of land in any direction, a shipping container sailed past in the distance and we were all hanging on for dear life. But I had the most enormous smile on my face. I had SWAM this! It was in that moment that someone noticed the event number burned into my arm, (no, literally burned into my arm!) and they asked: “Did you swim to the island?”
“Yes”
“In a solo or team?”
“A solo.”
“Wow!”
She turned to her friend and said “This girl SWAM to the island!”
“How far is it”
And I answer simultaneously with the first lady “25km.”
There were about 15 people sitting at the back of that ferry with me, and every one of them was looking at me in some sort of awe – mostly thinking I must be crazy. For just a moment in time I agreed with them and allowed a feeling of accomplishment and pride sink in a little.
The 2nd realisation I had was when I returned to squad. Vlad greeted me with his characteristic joy! “Ah Kim.. congratulations!” But I couldn’t really meet his eyes. Firstly I was still in a lot of pain and I knew it was unlikely that I’d be able to train that day. And secondly, I felt as though I’d probably disappointed him. I’d finished the swim but I hadn’t been able to ‘finish strong’ and the time I’d done was about an hour and 20 minutes slower than the 20 min per km pace that I’d hoped to be able to keep for the swim. When he saw my disappointment though, Vlad immediately stopped me and told me all the reasons why this swim isn’t comparable to any other swim I’ve done and the importance of celebrating it as an achievement. On its own Port to Pub is a monumental swimming achievement. It’s the 2nd of my Australian Triple Crown swims and, all things considered my time was actually really good. I’d been in pain, but I’d been mentally tough enough to swim through it. I swam for 9 hours and 27 minutes! Sheesh. I guess that is pretty cool.
Holding on to that moment of pride is important in so many ways. I’ve learned a lot from this swim, and it wasn’t the perfect execution, but if I don’t stop to celebrate the wins, my brain will decide that it’s not worth trying ever, because nothing I do is ever good enough for myself. Vlad’s much needed pep talk reminded me of the Tony Robbins workshop I attended online during Covid. Tony had said that celebrating every little win teaches our brain to celebrate our life and to live in a state of joy. It was a meaningful learning back then but somewhere along the way it was a lesson I’d forgotten and needed reminding of.
I’m super grateful for the generous support of my team. To Marc who helped me pull a last minute crew together. To Paul who battled all the odds to even get to Perth, managed my moods when he would have been within his rights to have a classic Usher dummy spit, and then survived it all despite needing a knee replacement. To Skipper Steve who kept me swimming in the best line possible on the day and who painted the kayak paddles red so they were easy to see from the water and the boat. To Lou who hadn’t really kayaked before and spent more time that she had ever wanted to beside me battling the current and the wind right to the end! To Gus who managed his hangover pretty well and gave the kayaking a good shot too hahaha! I couldn’t have asked for a better crew on the day! Also hugely grateful to Vladswim’s Nic who ferried me around and helped soothe any pre-swim shark and stinger induced nerves. It was also great to spend some time with Maroubra Coobra Wendy who has relocated to W.A and popped over the island to say hi! Oh, great to bump into Val, the legend of Great Keppel and Derwent River swims too!
And so now here I am; the bell is rung, I’ve had a selfie with a quokka, lessons have been learned and my Port to Pub era is complete.
Next stop: the Melbourne English Channel Qualifying event!
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Watching history in the making!
As I am preparing for this Saturday’s Port to Pub 25km Rottnest swim – the longest swim I’ve done so far and my first channel crossing, my mind is being blown by an upcoming act of history making swimming.
Dean Summers is about to attempt a 60 nautical mile swim from Newcastle to Sydney. It’s expected to start at 6am tomorrow morning and could take as long as 40 hours to complete. If he is successful, Dean will be the first person to achieve this and he’s already going to be the first person to attempt it without a shark cage.
I am in absolute awe of even the idea of this swim and have learned so much from observing Dean’s patience, determination and quiet steadfastness over the past 2 years.
I’m kind of devastated not to be in Sydney for the end of this swim – I’ll already be in Perth by the time he touches sand again – but there’s no doubt that Dean and his team (especially his beautiful wife Kylie who will be on the boat to support him) will be front of mind over the next couple of days.
Counting down the hours til dot watching commences: https://maps.findmespot.com/s/1P2W/TN
Let’s go, Deano!
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Port to Pub: My W.A Redemption Swim?
Next week I will fly to Perth for the 26km Port to Pub swim to hopefully complete my 2nd swim in the Australian Triple Crown series! The event is a lot like the Rottnest swim that was held (and rudely cut short by Mother Nature) two weeks ago.
The main difference is in the timing and the distance. Instead of simply swimming across the channel from Perth to Rottnest Island, there’s a 5km swim along the shore, before the 20km swim across the channel. This impact of the timing and distance difference comes down to the wind.
The ‘Freemantle Dr’ – a southerly wind that tends to blow up and become a headwind against swimmers usually comes up in the afternoon. For fast swimmers in the Rottnest swim, they can often make it across before it becomes a problem.
In the Port to Pub swim though, the extra 5 kms at the start (combined with my middle of the pack pace) means that there’s very little chance of me avoiding that wind.
Depending on conditions, I’m expecting the swim to take me between 8.5 and 10 hours. If I finish before 8.5 hours, you’ll know we’ve had a brilliant day and I’ve had an absolutely cracking swim. Any longer than 9 hours and I’ll have well and truly earned my dinner that night 😉 There are cut off times along the way, and I’ll have to be careful to pace myself well enough not to miss those times.
While the nervous energy is starting to build, I am really looking forward to this swim and to heading back to Perth. I have some unfinished swimming business there!
As I alluded to in my first ever blog post, as a childhood superfish the last time I swam in Perth was for the National Age Championships.
Little swimmer me 
10 Year Old Kim At the time I was 12 years old, and swimming in the 14 and under category. Friends in my squad had qualified and, never being one to want to miss out, I was desperate to join them. It took me until the final swimming carnival before the qualifying closing date to finally meet the qualifying time – but it was for the 200mt backstroke instead of the 200mt butterfly which I so desperately wanted to swim.
I don’t remember much about training for Nationals back in Sydney, but I vividly remember my time in Perth as a pretty unhappy time. I was hosted with the other swimmers in a hotel and away from my family. Socially, I was out of league. My impulsiveness was at its worst. The gap in the ages between myself and the others in the squad had never been clearer.
My two events (the 200mt Backstroke and the 400 medley relay) were both held on one of the final days of the meet. Training in the competition pool from the day we arrived until the day of my race was pretty much non-existent. I was horrified by the number of people in each lane – it was my first experience of training at a meet – and I remember feeling overwhelmed at every stage. Swimming backstroke and not being able to see people in the water around me before being mowed down by athletic teenage boys powering along doing freestyle and butterfly probably didn’t help. I didn’t understand the importance of keeping the training going. I didn’t understand the science of tapering. It didn’t occur to me to practice sighting along the roof and to familiarise myself with the lanes and pool. I hid under the water, cut laps short and swam as little as possible.
My teammates had won 3rd place in the Under 14 freestyle relay – I was the reserve and didn’t get to swim. It set the scene for us to know that we were contenders though. I was younger than them, but I felt as though I could hold my own, and that maybe I’d have a chance at a medal in my individual swim instead and that of course we’d place in our medley relay.
I don’t recall how I felt on the morning of race day. I have no memories of being marshalled or the moments before the race. My first memory is from during the swim – running into the lane ropes. Having barely met the qualifying time I was in the outside lane and I remember hitting the ropes and then swinging wildly and hitting the side of the pool. I remember feeling as though I was swimming in mud, staying in place, swinging my arms wildly but without making any progress. (For years afterwards I had recurring nightmares about that swim and of humiliating myself in front of everyone I cared about.)
In the actual heat I finished last, who knows by how far, and I didn’t come close to making the final, or even the time I’d swam to qualify to be there.
I made my way straight to the diving/cool down pool and sobbed as I swam down. I don’t know how long I swam for but eventually one of the older boys came to get me out of the pool. He told me to pull myself together – that the other girls had won a medal in the freestyle relay and I wasn’t allowed to mess it up for them by ruining their chances in the medley. Instead of making my way to the stands, I walked outside, sat on the ground, leaning up against the wall of the building and continued to cry myself dry. (Anyone else want to give 12 year-old me a hug right now? 🙂 )
By the time I made my way to the marshalling area with my teammates I had pulled myself together. We came 4th.
My family and I travelled a little around Perth after the meet was finished. We have photos and I have vague memories of the Pinnacles and Wave Rock, Bussleton Jetty, Fremantle Prison and of riding the ferry across to Rottnest Island. Regrettably, I also remember feeling a deep sadness, as though I had let everyone down and as though I never wanted to swim or see my teammates or coach again.
On the way to Rottnest Island with the fam. Unfortunately, that was pretty much what happened. I avoided squad for a while, and then my dad had a car accident that he was lucky to survive. I took the opportunity to ‘quit swimming’ telling him that I hadn’t wanted to swim for a long time and I was only swimming because I thought it would make him happy. (I’ve wished for decades now that I’d had the emotional maturity to be able to talk about shame and my experiences of Nationals and how it had impacted me. As an adult I learned that my dad felt guilty for years as a result of my careless comment and I hope he knows I’d do anything to take it back. We live and we learn. At the time, I was doing the best I could.)
People sometimes talk about the regrets they have in life, and I’m someone who doesn’t have a lot of them. I’ve always felt, as cliche as it is, that things happen for a reason, and most of my decisions in life have led to something better or more fulfilling. I might have regrets about the way things have ended but I can usually see the benefit in closing a door to walk towards something new. Somehow, swimming was different. As I grew older there was a feeling that I had unfinished business in the water but the chasm to jump back into it was too wide. I held limiting beliefs about my weight, my body and my capacity that held me back in so many areas of my life.
But now, after 33 years out of the water I am in love with swimming again. I trust and respect my coach. I am inspired by and in awe of my squad mates and don’t want to know what a life not seeing them regularly would look like. I know that my family and friends will continue to love and support me, no matter what the outcome this (or any swim) is.
And, I’m on my way back to Perth to create new memories; to cross the channel under my own power instead of a ferry, to learn a little more about myself on this crazy life journey and to give a little TLC and healing to 12 year old me.
I cannot WAIT to ring that finishing bell – and you’d better believe that a quakka selfie awaits!
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Riding the weird waves of anxiety
(Some) people reading this might not believe me but I think that in some ways I might be an inherently lazy person. If I’m not swimming or having adventures with friends and family, I’m really happy to be lounging around in bed (or in a bath) reading or watching Netflix or terrible reality TV.
Knowing this, it strikes me as surprising that I’m feeling as anxious this week as I am about missing a few sessions in the water. There is a part of me that is relieved not to swim and to be able to rest my arms and shoulders while the bruising and swelling of my leg heals, but that relief is overshadowed by guilt and fear. Guilt that I did feel a twinge of relief at being told to take a break. Guilt because I was nervous about how I’d go swimming a 10km Fartlek and now I have another week before I have to test myself and see if I can pass the test. Worry that I’m now 19 kms behind my program for this week. Fear that missing those kilometres will somehow impact my progress.
God help me if I ever truly get an injury that requires a decent amount of time out of the water!
Other than the blue bottles and the surfboard collision, the 15km last Saturday felt really good. I felt like I had finally built my endurance back to where it was before I took a month off to go to Vietnam last November and I probably felt better than I have since last September when I swam the 51km in 48 hours. It took a lot longer to recover from that than I had expected. I’m scared to lose that effortless feeling of knowing I’m swimming well.
And I KNOW that missing squad impacts my mental health – missing out on those endorphins probably add to the little waves of anxiety that come and go when I know that I should be out swimming a 10km Fatrtlek session instead of stretching at home, eating porridge and then scrolling mindlessly through social media.
Some days, when I can’t swim or am taking a rest day I do yoga or go for a walk instead. I rolled the mat our for 25 minutes to have a stretch this morning but going for a walk feels counter intuitive for the goal of healing my fin chopped leg.
I can see the ocean from this desk and I can see the white wash out to sea that made swimming 10km fartlek in the ocean today a terrible idea. I’m seeing the notifications from whatsapp groups saying that the ocean conditions are dirty and wild and filled with blue bottles. I’m watching my friend’s Strava and seeing their 5-10km swims in the pool register. I didn’t join them because 10kms of tumbleturns and pushing off the end of the pool is also a terrible idea right now.
So Vlad’s prescription was for me to rest; to miss one more day of training and head back on Monday fresh, rested and ready to push!
When I expressed concern about not swimming, his response was that the anxiety I’m feeling about taking the day off is a big enough reason not to swim… interesting…
It makes sense, but I’m really battling with my head and my heart to understand that it really is ok just to take the day off.
It’s such a weird feeling to feel guilty and scared of resting.
There are 4 more Saturdays until my 26km Port to Pub event in Perth. I know Vlad will have me ready.
And so today. I rest.
Reluctantly 😉
P.S I’m not sharing this blog post on social media or in the email links. I don’t want to make a big deal of it or make people feel uncomfortable. But I think not to share these feelings at all would be inauthentic about what the process of getting to the English Channel looks like for me. And perhaps it also highlights the important role of rest and recovery? Either way, if you’ve stumbled across this particular post, I hope it’s because you have an interest in one day making the journey to Dover, or some other big audacious adventure, yourself. And so I’ll journal the feelings out, add them to this blog and move on. It’s probably not stoic but it’s real.
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The Year of the Dragon!
“Opportunities await the bold…”
TLDR: According to my Vietnamese Zodiac, 2024 – the Year of the Dragon and the year of my lunar zodiac sign – will be a promising year for me, filled with happiness and satisfaction IF I stay flexible and adaptable, don’t let myself burn out and if I accept the guidance and support of others. Sounds like a fortuitous time to attempt to cross the English Channel for Blue Dragon Children’s Foundation!
Chúc mừng năm mới!
I’m not usually one to rely or read too much into horoscopes but 2024 seems to be a really special year of connections. In the Vietnamese Zodiac, 2024 is the Year of the (wood) Dragon. Coincidentally, it’s also Blue Dragon Children’s Foundation’s 20th birthday year. And, the bit that pulls this dragon joy together, is that I was also born in the Year of the (fire) Dragon and that this just happens to be the year that I’ll swim the English Channel for Blue Dragon!
With the start of the new Lunar Year coming this weekend, I decided to look into what the zodiac experts have to say about how the Year of the Dragon might impact my English Channel aspirations.
For context, Tet – the Vietnamese New Year, is a really significant and special time of the year. It is a time for family, close and significant friendships, and for deeply rooted cultural traditions. It’s time to pay respect to one’s ancestors and welcome in the new year. When I am in Hanoi, the most special part is the Blue Dragon Tet Celebration – an opportunity for alumni and present staff, friends, kids and survivors to come together to share joy and celebrate accomplishments as a community. Having had some of these incredible people in my life now for more than 10 years, I definitely felt a Blue Dragon sized hole in my heart from not being there in person and part of the celebrations in person this year.
Each year in Hanoi, I always enjoy the visual displays of Kumquat and Peach Blossom trees being transported on motorbikes – the taller the better – as well as the carefully arranged 5 coloured alter fruit trays.
Photos taken in 2015. 
Not being a huge fan of mung bean, I wasn’t ever an enthusiastic partaker of eating Banh Tet (sticky rice cakes with meat/mung bean) but being invited into the homes of my friends and landlords at this time of the year was always a particularly special and deeply honoured experience.
Tet dinner with my landlords in 2015 – such a special night. Knowing that so many Blue Dragon supporters donated money to make sure that Blue Dragon families had the food and resources to be able to truly enjoy their celebration this year fills my heart with joy. Like Christmas, this is a time of year when nobody should go without or be worried about not having enough food to feed their family or to welcome in the new year with a full belly and a feeling of safety.
On Tet New years Eve this year in Sydney, I’ll follow my own personal Tet tradition of lighting a candle, taking a moment to speak silently to my departed but still beloved family and friends, and then count my blessings from 2023 and let myself become quietly excited with the anticipation of what the Year of the Dragon has in store!
It is said that people born in 1976 – the Year of the (fire) Dragon – are passionate, adventurous, energetic and ambitious hard workers with a love of challenges and risk taking – “prepared to work long and unsociable hours in order to achieve what they desire.” I’d guess that description fits me most of the time, especially since Blue Dragon and ocean swimming have come into my life.
One line that jumped out at me most in my research about what the Year of the Dragon could bring, was : “…that they will have a lot of opportunities to shine and succeed in 2024. They will be able to use their fire energy to fuel their wood energy, and create a powerful synergy that will boost their luck and fortune” as well as to overcome any challenges that pop up along the way!
The other exciting information that popped up is that in 2024, Wood Dragons: “will… benefit from the support and help of other wood signs, such as the Tiger, the Rabbit and the Pig.” Both Christian, one of my core EC training buddies and Paul, one of my key ’out of water’ support people during long training swims as well as during the English Channel swim, were born in 1974 – the Year of the Wood Tiger! (Are there any other wood animals willing to help me cool my fire and offer guidance this year? You’re very welcome 😉
A photo taken by Jason of our 15km training swim at Malabar last weekend. 
Swam the full 15km with Christian, supported by Paul in Corrine’s kayak! Of course, there were also some words of warning in my zodiac research which I think are particularly pertinent for the next few months and training phase of my EC preparation. This includes that I shouldn’t become so busy chasing my dream that I neglect my physical welling and health. Of course there is sweet irony there in the frustration I’m feeling right now at not training this week because I’m nursing a’ fin chop’ injury that occurred during last Saturday’s 15km training swim.
It’s getting better! 
Stages of healing 
Ice, Ice baby. The horoscopes for the year also provide a warning to take rest, diet and exercise seriously, to avoid stress (!!) and anger, and some potential issues with my heart, blood pressure, stomach, digestion or eyesight – so I guess I should stop putting it off, and make that mandatory appointment for my English Channel full health check up sooner rather than later!
I have to admit I felt a little seen (and schooled!) when I read that I could: “go a lot further if they (I) allow others to help and try to be more understanding for other people’s opinions and feelings” and that this year in particular, I should: “be careful not to overdo it. Fire Dragons are already very intense and enthusiastic, and if they add too much wood energy to their fire energy, they may burn themselves out or cause conflicts with others. They need to learn to balance their energy and emotions, and avoid being too impulsive or aggressive.” Whoops.
Those who know me well, or perhaps even just a little, might have their own opinions about the comments that I need to be able to be flexible and adaptable this year, because: “Fire Dragons are very stubborn and proud, and they don’t like to change their plans or opinions. But in 2024, they may encounter some unexpected situations or changes that will require them to adjust their strategies or perspectives. They need to be open-minded and willing to learn from others, especially from wood signs who can offer them valuable insights and guidance.” Don’t worry – I’m listening and well aware!
One of my greatest concerns about the EC is not knowing exactly which day my swim will be. I’m used to being super prepared and having a very settled and structured day the day before my big events, in an effort to keep my anxiety and nervous excitement at a manageable level. Reading the very close to the bone message that Fire Dragons: “hate to be kept waiting and become very impatient over the smallest of delays” is another reminder that I need to start developing strategies now to help me overcome this known potential challenge in July!
So, here we go. 2024. The Year of the Dragon! Another opportunity to reflect, celebrate and calibrate where needed, and to keep moving forward! I won’t lie, there’s a silly sense of relief that I didn’t read anything that made me doubt that this could be my year for a successful, fulfilling and joy filled channel crossing event and preparation. It probably wouldn’t have changed anything but it’s nice to be able to report back that I’m already hugely grateful for the support and aware of all of my personal failings and potential pitfalls listed here. This little side research has just fuelled my anticipation, determination and excitement further!
Chúc mừng năm mới (Happy New Year) to you all, and may YOUR Year of the Dragon be as vibrant as the spirit of the fire breather, and be filled with prosperity, love, happiness and health for you and your loved ones. May the year also be filled with enough salt (sea salt, attitude and/or flavour!) as you desire!
Happy New Year! 
The bag of salt gifted to me during Tet 2016 celebrations. References:
https://www.japantimes.co.jp/life/2024/01/02/lifestyle/year-of-the-dragon
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When a lamington becomes a life buoy.
Vi wasn’t planning on baking lamingtons in 2024. But this time last year, I bought half a dozen to share with my swimming crew after our swim. They were so good that a month or so ago my friends asked me if I could buy more for this Jan 26.
It takes a pretty great lamington to be remembered 12 months later! And it takes an even greater person to come out of holiday mode and spend a day baking, not for profit, but so the money can be donated to charity. And that’s what Vi did. He agreed to bake 36 lamingtons, just for me, to sell as a fundraising activity for Blue Dragon with my lamington loving Maroubra Coobras.
I put the call out to let everyone know that we would have 36 lamingtons ready for after our swim today. I hadn’t worked out a price yet but wanted people to prepare their taste buds. The donations immediately started flooding in. In the end, those delicious spongy, jammy, coconutty, chocolatey squares of deliciousness sold out in no time at all, at an average price of $24 per lamington!
My heart was filled even further after we sold out, and people who bought more than one started donating back their lamingtons so others could buy one and donate more money. And THEN people who bought one for themselves or to take home, started cutting them up into quarters after the swim to make sure that everyone could have a taste. (Coach Vlad was even lucky enough to happen to walk past at the right time 😉
They are incredible lamingtons. But I have even more incredible friends.
Together we raised $940.
That money, almost enough to rescue a victim of human trafficking, will be used to prevent vulnerable people from being trafficked in the first place.
Today, on a somewhat controversial day off from work, we had the privilege of freedom that we didn’t earn but are lucky enough to enjoy, on a land and in seas that were never ceded (always was, always will be) with incredible friends and to eat delicious cakes in the sunshine.
At the same time, we were able to save the lives of vulnerable people in Vietnam: keeping them safe from human trafficking.
It was so easy. And so important.
And I am so grateful.
Want to help me swim to end human trafficking? Donate here: https://au-give.bluedragon.org/fundraisers/kims-big-blue-english-channel-swim
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Can you help?
Blue Dragon rescued 14 people from slavery this week.
14!
Over the past 18 months especially, across Southeast Asia, there have been two terrible developments in human trafficking.
First, Blue Dragon’s rescues from human trafficking in Myanmar have been severely impacted by worsening military conflict across northern Myanmar. Tens of thousands of people from countries such as Vietnam are being held in slavery there.
Second, reports of organ trafficking (and even the trafficking of women for forced impregnation to harvest stem cells from the babies) are on the rise, something that Blue Dragon has rarely seen in 20 years of operation in Vietnam. You can read more about this on the Blue Dragon website.
But it’s not all bad news, because Blue Dragon is working to keep people safe from these problems, by preventing them from being trafficked in the first place. The team is having enormous success in the areas where they are already implementing clusters of integrated anti-trafficking initiatives.
My English Channel swim goal is to raise $200,000 for Blue Dragon to end these forms of trafficking, across Vietnam. If you are in a position to help, please consider making a donation.
If your business would like to be one of the sponsors for my swim, please send me an email (kim@bdcf.org). Likewise, if you know someone who has a business whose mission and beliefs align with mine, please do forward on my details. I’d love to connect.
Together, I KNOW that we can save lives!
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Trusting the process.
I believe in celebrating the good things. I think I’m pretty transparent about the challenges too, but for me, an important part of enjoying the process of getting to the English Channel is celebrating the small wins along the way.
Today had a little but super cool win.
I’m at a phase in my program where I’m not supposed to be focusing too much on speed, but instead I’m building back (and further improving) my endurance. Each Saturday the distance goal of my ocean swim has been gradually building – I had 8km last weekend, 10km this Saturday, 12km next week, and 15km the Saturday after that.
So during Wednesday and Friday squad sessions I’m supposed to be sitting somewhere in the middle of the pack/lane. I find this difficult as most days I really like to lead, to set my own pace, shoot for my times, not have the advantage of other people’s drag and to just generally give each session as much energy as I have. Knowing that I have a big couple of weeks coming up though, I decided today’s Threshold Wednesday set – a training session that is supposed to feel uncomfortable and really push us to the limit of what we can sustain for the full set – was the day to follow the program to the letter.
One of the benefits of this was that at the end of the session, when Vlad told us to push hard for the final 200mts, I had plenty left to give. I was 2nd in the lane by then – mostly because I can’t resist a good 200mt – but I still had one swimmer in front of me to set the pace (and provide a little drag to carry me along too haha!)
I started out at a fairly good pace, holding back just enough to stay relaxed and to focus on my stroke and glide, but during the third lap Vlad was walking beside me doing that traditional coaching trick of using his arms to wave me along to push harder.
When I hit the wall at the end of the 200 and heard my time was 3:10 I was really happy with that. It was close to a PB and I figured that from the way I’ve been swimming lately, I’ll happily accept anything that is even close to a PB. But then, he said “Minus 5 seconds – 3:05” because I’d started 2nd in the lane.
It’s not the world’s best time.. hell, it’s not even fast enough to keep up in a faster lane! But it’s the best time I’ve ever swum. And that’s a huge personal win and an absolute buzz.
Most importantly, it’s also a reminder that even though there will be good weeks and bad weeks, I can trust the process.
Probably a good lesson for both in, and out, of salt water 🙂
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I’m swimming the English Channel this year!
It feels like that sentence has been a long time coming. But here we are – 2024!
The last few months of 2023 felt like a blur. Although it would be great to be able to say that I’m feeling awesome and swimming the best I ever have, the truth isn’t always as pretty or simple.
In September I had the goal to swim 48km in 48 hours for Pledge for Planet and when I went into it I was feeling optimistic but not 100% confident I was at my fittest. I expressed concern to Vlad who only shook his head and walked away saying that I surprise him sometimes with my comments and questions.
Recovery was a process. My program instructions were to ‘get tired’ so that I was as fit as I could possibly be, before I took a month out of the water to go back to Hanoi to work face to face with the Blue Dragon team.
That month in Hanoi and then Singapore for work WAS supposed to be recovery time from swimming but in reality it was an absolute whirlwind!
I mostly kept up with my strength training but time in the water was limited and I only managed 2 swims (in the 32 degree pool water) in the 3.5 weeks I was away. I arrived back in Sydney with rested shoulders, a full heart and a reinvigorated energy for work, but I was sick and physically exhausted.
Vlad noticed, and instead of giving me my new program, prescribed another programless month to build back my strength, fitness and passion for swimming. I didn’t know it until he said it, but it was the best news he could have given me. Being able to take off the pressure and just swim when I wanted to, and how far I wanted to, without feeling beholden to a program was the greatest Christmas gift.
In reality I swam pretty much every day the entire month of December and ended up swimming 114kms. I even made the Vladswim 10km event, and although I wished I’d been able to do a faster time and that it had felt more effortless than it was, I still managed to swim my best 10km time by about 9 minutes.
I had a few other 5km + swims over the break but mostly I enjoyed every minute in the ocean with friends, searching for turtles, enjoying the rush of swimming in front of the island at Coogee with the Vladswimmers, having adventure swims and cold baths with the Coobras, enjoying a Friday swim with the mob at Salties and rejoining the Mollymook Ocean swimmers during the Christmas – New Year break. And of course, every swim included basking in sunshine and drinking coffee afterwards.
By the time Vlad handed over my 2024 program in late December, I was ready for it! Ready and excited to plan for the first few months of the year – spreadsheet and calendar ready to go!
We had our first Wednesday Threshold squad session back this week, and… let’s just say that getting back to peak fitness might take me a few weeks… but I’m excited to make it happen. I’m currently 8 seconds off my best 200mt pace (the distance which is always the best indicator of how I’m going) and there are some parts of my body needing some etc TLC right now. But I am 100% confident that I’ll get it all back. This is the year!
By the time I get to the channel I want to be the fittest and healthiest (mind, body, spirit) that I’ve been in my adult life, so the focus areas for the next 7 months are:
- Following the program – one coach, one goal, one squad!
- Nutrition – eating with a focus on swimming well
- Strength training – prevention of injuries and building up some power in my stroke
- Walking – keeping up my incidental movement and non-swim related fitness to hopefully drop a few more kilos and give myself a chance to build some speed
- Rest and recovery: stretching, sleeping 8 hours, hydration and staying connected with my friends and family.
- Cold Adaption: cold plunges and, once the joy of summer fades, longer swims in cold water.
Of course there are some huge work goals at play too! I’m looking for 10 major sponsors to partner with to make the goal of ending human trafficking in 10 communities across Vietnam a reality. (Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me – kim@bdcf.org – if you know someone who might be interested)
Looking forward, there are a few extra special swim challenges in the diary too!
March: Port to Pub – a 26km swim to Rottnest Island
April: The 8 hour English Qualifying event in Melbourne (8 hours in less than 16 degrees)
June: Cold camp – three days of swimming in less than 15 degree water and a 2nd chance at qualifying for the channel if something goes wrong in April
July: SWIMMING THE ENGLISH CHANNEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s 2024 baby! Let’s go!
Kim's Big Blue English Channel Swim 